I really want to go to london. more than anything...but my family doesnt support it. im so unhappy here. im so depressed. i have been for a while and i think when im away im much happier. its so depressing here. i want to grow up and get more responsible and i think this will help me. im sending my application in by the end of the week.

im really excited. i got wireless finallyyyy in my house so now i can actually use my mac. =D
i just need the disks to fix it and ill be set.

I found the perfect school.
London Metropolitan University.
I WILL get in & I WILL go.

 I am actually pretty excited for school to start. I would be more excited if I actually lived on campus again but eff that, not going to be in a forced triple in heathman again.
soo ill just apply next semester.
and im also excited because i may have my dog walking job back again
and im probably going to work on campus 
so...onto being a grown up.

i've been thinking about grown uppish things a lot lately...
like wishing I would just graduate already so i can be a grown up.
I have a dream plan for the future and I have no idea if it will actually work out.... as of right now...i want to finish up my bachelors in Psychology and take as many classes in nonviolence as possible and hopefully obtain a minor in it but...idk since I really want to transfer.. So hopefully if all goes according to this dream plan, I'll be able to transfer next year. I have a few schools in mind, one of which i probably wont get into since my grades first semester SUCKED. butttttttttttt idk. i will work my ass off this year. i will. I want to. I actually WANT to learn? is that weird. i've never been one of those people who absolutely DETESTS school but I've never been one who actually LIKED it, even when I got like straight A's back in like 9-10th grade. 
But anyway
after I get my bachelors, wherever I decide to go, in psychology...I want to either join the peace corps for a year or immediately move on to get my Masters...though I think immediately going to get my masters is the best bet though the peace corps would probably be a great thing to put on my resume for grad school.
and I am thinking of the possibility of going to grad school in ireland (if i dont study abroad there. which i also probably want to study abroad my junior year. maybe ill choose a random country as long as russia isn't attacking all of Europe by then...)
so after I get my masters either peace corps if i havent done it yet...or either continue living with my parents until i get enough money to get an apartment since it's pretty unrealistic to think i'll have money when i am done with college. no one does. 
or hopefully i can get an apartment and find a stable career in pscyhology soon after graduating. 
though this is just wishing.
and i also want a baby.
a girl.
eventually.
now.
lol
sigh... idk. we'll see how this all plays out I suppose.

I am going to work on myself for a while. I am going to work on my level of happiness. I am sick of being unhappy.... 
I want to start exercising again. I had been doing that daily from March-June and here and there since then but I want to do it daily. It makes me feel better.
I'm going to work my ass off in school next semester as well.
Right now I finalized my schedule. My honors class was cancelled and for some reason I can't sign up for another one.
So my schedule is as follows....

Monday Wednesday & Friday:

9:00-9:50 am 
HDF 230
Marriage & Family Relationships. 
Crawford Hall 223

10-10:50 am
HIS 150
Intoduction to African American History
Washburn Hall 111

11-11:50 am
PSY 113
Intoduction to Psychology
Edwards Aud.
**need to get permission number for this class**

1-1:50pm
PHL 212
Ethics
Chaffee Social Science Center 273

THURSDAY:

9-11:45 am
ITL 101
Beginning Italian
Providence CCE

& Independent class:

PSY 489
Problems in Psychology
Independent research relating to Nonviolence & Peace Studies follow-up.
Collyer!


So... 6 classes, all 3 credits. I don't want to drop any because I need to make up for the failing classes I had first semester last year.
*sigh*
anyway, I need to change. I just took a walk and im still in my walking clothes lol

I am back from North Carolina and it was pretty much a blast minus the driving there part and the hours of traffic part...
but i felt a lot closer to my cousins this year. I think it's because I am getting older and feel more comfortable around them...since im the youngest ive never really hung out with them much but i did more this year. =D 
anddd my 2 cousins have the cutest babies EVER. no lie.
lol.

 About to take off to go to North Carolina until the 9th. =D souped.

I  know what I want to do for the rest of my life.

i need to read as much as possible before summer is over and i need to be on top of things in the fall.

I really miss the class. so much .. and everything seems so...irrelevant now. I feel like teenagers/college kids are usually concerned with the stupidest things...and things that just don't matter...when theres so much going on in the world. It makes me sad.
I might go teach on the 31st at URI. 
I am going to Nigeria. I'm not sure when, next year sometime probably. I just want to make the most of this and spread this as much as possible. I really am a changed person....I'm seeing things so different.